Random Thoughts of a Lioness: July 2004

Oh My God, It's Friday Already?!

They say time flies when you're having fun. It has been such a peaceful two days that I wish it was longer. Err..no, I take that back. I wish it was this way the whole week. The office is so quiet that you can actually hear a pin drop. We got our work done even before 5 as there are no disturbance whatsoever. A good way to get the weekend started.

I have been yearning for seafood lately - crabs in particular. Some thinks it is because I've been fasting that the slightest mention of anything makes me crave. One problem is to find a place that serves good, halal ones. That Nong & Jimmy place has mouth-watering grilled crab, but I am kinda looking for those chilli ones. I found out recently that most places like Fatty Crab and Devilish Crab use ketam batu due to the large amount of the meat. I can't be 100% sure about this, but a couple of people seem to tell me the same thing. Even if they are wrong, I can't eat it because I have doubt. Wan says kalau dah was-was, hukumnya haram juga. So, I am dedicating Saturday night to scout around Subang for them! *lion3ss listing down the eateries to go*

Was on the phone with Mama yesterday and she was a bit sad that I don't meet up with Abang often. T comes over almost every weekend (be it to meet his wonderful sister or just for the PS2 + food!!), but it has been nearly a month since we've met up with Abang and IJ. I guess having a new family takes up most of his time too. I don't blame him. Sometimes when he is free to meet us, we would already have our own plans. IJ mentioned before that Abang does complain that he feels left out hearing about me and T and our weekend activities (which mostly are midnight movies, home gourmet cooking and challenging each other in Bubbles Bobbles). I wish they could just come over and join us once in while *sigh*.

Ooh, another hour to leave this place and start the weekend. Not that I have plans lined up in my little organiser, but TGIF!

Have a great weekend!

IF

If freckles were lovely, and day was night,
And measles were nice and a lie warn't a lie,
Life would be delight,-
But things couldn't go right
For in such a sad plight
I wouldn't be I.

If earth was heaven, and now was hence,
And past was present, and false was true,
There might be some sense
But I'd be in suspense
For on such a pretense
You wouldn't be you.

If fear was plucky, and globes were square,
And dirt was cleanly and tears were glee
Things would seem fair,-
Yet they'd all despair,
For if here was there
We wouldn't be we.

-ee cummings, 1910-

Bills, Bills, Bills

The monthly scenario:

26th:   Yay, itâ€™s payday!

27th:   *logs onto Maybank2u to pay house loan, electricity bills, phone bills, astro bills, etc, etc.*

28th:   Ooh, I need to pay my maintenance fees, and the water bills. Ugh, how could I forget to pay my credit card? Itâ€™s three days late! Err, how much did I owe the tailor again for that dress?

29th:   *Phone rings* Hello? Oh, hi T. Takdok duit? Oh dear, so you havenâ€™t bought the printer? Uh, sure..Iâ€™ll bank it in. Doksoh be upset.

30th:   *Phone rings again* Yeah. Huh? What do you mean it wasnâ€™t enough? Of course I still need my line! *temper rising* Donâ€™t worry, Iâ€™ll pay at the kiosk by lunch.

31st:    What? Iâ€™m left with how much?! *sticks tongue at ATM screen*

2nd:     Err..whenâ€™s the 26th again? *crossing days off the calendar*

This happens to me almost every month now. Sometimes I canâ€™t figure out why. (I can hear Mama saying; "maybe having more than one credit cards is not such a brilliant idea"). But I donâ€™t shop, wait..ok, that was not entirely true. I do shop, but very seldom nowadays. I look at my friends splurging on new shoes and new clothes and I wonder why I canâ€™t afford to do the same. I still have enough for savings and for my parentsâ€™ retirement funds..but deducting that and the rest of whatâ€™s â€˜practicalâ€™, I am lucky to be able to get my luxury item of the month! (which, for the past 2 months, has been those black pumps from HP)

Most of my friends think I shouldnâ€™t be having monetary problems anymore since I have Buster to help out. Dead wrong. I donâ€™t know how others do it, but I still pay for my house and its management fees, my car maintenance, to name a few. Yes, it would be nice to get him (or some even suggested our parents!) to help out, but then I wouldnâ€™t be at ease doing so. It is after all my responsibility, and they have helped more than enough.

I know I shouldnâ€™t be complaining. There are others out there who doesnâ€™t even have a place to sleep, nothing to eat, and have used the same clothes for years. And here I am, sulking because I canâ€™t have my 5th pair of black shoes. Tsk, tsk.

But sometimes I still wish money grows on trees *sigh*

A birthday shout to Malinski - Have a wonderful day and a great year ahead!

Me-ow!

Reading Dina Zaman's entry on cats made me miss my cat so much.

I got Sporty back in 1998, a couple of months before I left for my studies. Ebs had a white female cat that had just given birth to four most beautiful white kittens, one of which was named Spotty due to a faded black spot on his head. (We were quite convinced that Cheâ€™ Teh had a Persian lover looking at the fluffy fur inherited by her kittens!). So taken I was with them that Ebs decided to give a pair for me to bring home. I remembered how much attention they got when they were about to board the plane!

Sporty grew up much faster than Didi, and by the second month he was with us, his spot disappeared! I still believe to this day that it wasnâ€™t even a spot, hehe. Hence the change of name (plus it was the Spice Girls era at the time, not that I admit listening to them!). Both were perfect kittens â€“ they were toilet trained, they didnâ€™t sleep on sofas and they were so playful! As I left to further my studies, Sporty and Didi were left in the care of my cat-loving grandmother and T. Mama would send me pictures of them which I blue-tacked on my wall.

When Didi died after giving birth, I was worried that Sporty would be lonely. He became so attached and protective to one remaining â€˜nephewâ€™ of his that when Hazel too, died he went into depression. He wouldnâ€™t eat, wouldnâ€™t play and saddest of all, he keeps staring at Hazelâ€™s favourite spot. I guess that was when the whole family started to pamper him. He gets to sleep on Wanâ€™s bed, eat whatever he wants, sits with us on the sofa while watching TV â€“ the works. He comes in and out of the house as he pleases, especially at night. As much as he loves sleeping on the bed, he just couldnâ€™t resist the temptation of crickets and frogs and sometimes, birds calling out to him to be chased. Whenever he gets reprimanded for being overly spoilt or naughty (like sleeping on top of the fridge, surprising Mama with his kills or trying to sneak into the bird house), he will actually merajuk and hides himself up on the roof. Even Aboh, who doesnâ€™t like cats canâ€™t help but laugh at his antics. Mamaâ€™s deduction is that Sporty fancies himself as one of usâ€¦you know..err..human. *which I think so too*

One thing about Sporty though â€“ he is wary of strangers and hates it when the house is full. He would be missing for hours and only come back for his meals unnoticed. He would actually snub you if you are not a common face in the house! He is sometimes hostile towards Abang since he doesnâ€™t go home often enough to be familiar. However, he has warmed up quite well towards Buster who doesnâ€™t help matters by spoiling him rotten!

Well, I just realised that I have dedicated a whole page to Sporty. Talk about spoiling my cat! But I love him dearly that I donâ€™t think any other cat would even come close! T asked me whether we would ever get another cat if one day Sporty were to leave us, but I canâ€™t imagine that scenario at the moment.

*I look forward for our next trip back home and present him with his new flea collar! MUAHAHAHAHA*

Easy Way Out

A colleague came over to our workstation today to promote a new product that she was using. Some miracle cream that promises instant results on wrinkles, eye bags, skin, extra weight and other areas that basically needs fixing. Apparently, once you use this RM250++ wonder, you could see the results in a few days! Our staff asked me whether I believe in these so-called instant-results beauty products (like those tummy trim cream "â€¦guaranteed to shed inches off you within 10 minutes!" or those 6-week-whitening -stuff that promises "..more date proposals when you are lighter" *roll eyes*). Well, I am certainly not ready to part with my non-existent money and even if I do have it, I donâ€™t think I even want to try. Plus, my thinking was (and still is) that if these things really work as they claim so, wouldnâ€™t everyone who has weight or skin or whatever problems dash to the nearest store and get them? The mentioned staff however, said she almost bought a breast enhancement product if she wasnâ€™t stopped by the husband who was concerned about the chemical side effect. She said the advertisement showed ordinary people with tremendous results, then it must be real.

Which got me into thinking on how we as consumers are easily influenced. In fact, I admit that I am too, as gullible and as proof, I have a bottle of Colgate Whitening and a box of Slimming Tea sitting on my dressing table (I canâ€™t vouch whether they work or not since I donâ€™t use/take them as religiously as I should!). And the number of times I am tempted to buy those Fair & Lovely products everytime I come back from my tournaments or beach holidaysâ€¦*shaking head*. We canâ€™t actually blame the companies â€“ they are merely doing their part marketing the products. As smart consumers, it is up to us to either blindly believing their claims or vice versa. That brings me back to my original question â€“ if these things really work, how come so little people are using them?

I guess for the moment, I am quite happy with my skin tone and the traditional way of losing weight. Yes, yes..I might have to be more disciplined in the exercise bit, and cutting down on carbo, bla-bla-blaâ€¦but I donâ€™t think I want to blow my ringgits and sens taking the short cut that does not guarantee me anything.

*Note to self: Need to figure a quick, acceptable way to lose some inches in 2..oops..make that 1 Â½ month. Need to fit into that dress for Gorgeousâ€™ wedding plus win that bet with MJ and Mommy. Help!*

P/S: Chitosan and Whitening Body Lotion, anybody? *sheepish grin*

A Girl Can Surely Dream..

Dearest cuz Yati sent this to me. The girls and I used to talk about this life and how wonderful it would be to be able to live it.

Now, if I can only make Buster earn his millions in the near future..*scheming look on lion3ss face*

When I Grow Up, I Wanna Be A Tai-Tai

The last 100 years have been golden ones for the female sex really. During that span of time we got the vote, got the right to go to schools and added university degrees and Oxford PhDs to the list of 'Women Can Do' without slaughtering, maiming or killing anybody.

Well, okay ... maybe a bit of illegal protesting and bra burning. Lately, we've chalked up more milestones in the business world as Hewlett Packard became the first big name tech player to appoint a woman CEO and according to news reports, more than 27% of new businesses being launched are being headed by women.

The result of all this history is that women of today's generation have grown up with strong ideas about being career women. In secondary school canteens, we dreamt of careers as lawyers, accountants and engineers,earning pots of money and somewhere along the way, meeting the suitably
qualified tertiary educated Prince Charming who drove a nice middle class car.

The thought of becoming a housewife was filed away under 'Stupid Hairbrained Things Which Only Dumb Females Consider Doing'.

Five years, a university degree and a couple of years working experience later, some of us are finding that gulp, we take it all back.

Really ... all we want is to be tai-tais ...

The truth is that working is a drudgery. Having a boss is like having PMS except it's every working day of the week(and that's 5 days a week x 4 weeks a month x 12 months a year).

Nine to five hours are a miserable experience. Paperwork is asinine,endless and sometimes, verges on pointlessness. And oh yes, finding new ways to be idle without being caught probably should be national employee pastime No 1.

For gifts last year, we gave each other copies of Dilbert's The Joy of Work for laughs. Bringing home the bacon doesn't have a magical satisfying feel any more because you're too tired and brain dead to even contemplate frying it yourself.

You consider throwing yourself into your work and becoming one of those amazing females who makes the cover of Women @ Work but decide after taking into consideration the total loss of personal time, absolute lack of a social life and general all round hard work you need to do to achieve that
goal, coupled with the glass ceiling factor, finding a good husband who will bring home not just bacon but the whole damned pig seems the easier and faster road to good times.

Longing for tai-taidom doesn't mean swapping the university parchment for the 'same druggery, different context' of housework and brood-rearing.

Tai-taidom is about having a maid tackle all those tiresome chores and going out to coffee, high tea and shopping with your school mates and girlfriends.

It's about gym workouts with a personal trainer, having facials and and pamper sessions at the masseuse.

It's being able to go on a vacation at the drop of a hat without having to apply for leave, wait for it to be approved and then have your boss whine about how it's a bad time to be taking time off.

Tai-taidom doesn't have to be dull either.

After all, as a lady of leisure, you will have time to undertake all the hobbies, interests and skill improvements that you always wanted to do but never had the time or money to. Read all those books you meant to read all
those years ago but never found the time. Travel and see the world. Learn how to sing, play a musical instrument - write a sex and shopping novel.

Tai-taidom is the chance to discover and exploit your hidden talents and well, find self-improvement. Take typing classes.

Wait a second - weren't these the sort of exploits of entile young ladies of the Elizabethan 18th Century? The play a musical instrument and learn how to sing is almost straight out of the pages of Jane Austen's books isn't it?

Tai-taidom is a step backwards for women surely? (Elizabeth Candy Staunton would be rolling in a grave over this one, you think?)

Yes and no.

Modern tai-tais have probably got it much better since corsets were condemned and well, Elizabeth Bennet would certainly have appreciated having the vote and being given the chance to go to university and as well as marry
Mr Darcy and be lady of leisure at some large house with sprawling grounds.

Modern tai-tais aren't tai-tais by virtue of their gender or because they can't be anything else - they're tai-tais by choice.

And being a tai-tai doesn't mean all the equality we fought for and the right to sit at the table and express your views while pounding the table with your immaculately manicured nails just vanishes overnight.

Rather, it's having the best of both types of worlds that women have experienced.

Which brings us of course to the one fly in the whole becoming a tai-tai ointment. Alas, achieving tai-taidom is somewhat a more tenuous uphill task.

If you thought winning the vote was a toughie, wait till you get to finding a decent good husband who makes enough money for you to live the life of a tai-tai. Need we repeat again how good men are hard to find? Even the cads and bounders are hard to come by these days. Tai-taidom is an elusive fairy tale ending that like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty, is the exception rather than the rule.

The moral of the story at the end of the day? Screw the knight in shining armour or liberated sensitive new age man - Just gimme a husband who can afford to keep me in the style and manner in which I would like to be accustomed to ... and I will cook all his meals and let him put up his feet when he comes home ...

Tai-taidom, here I come!

Breathe In...Breathe Out

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When Iâ€™m feeling sad..
I simply remember my favourite things
And then I donâ€™t feel...so baaad..

*sing along now!*

Nothing more wrong couldâ€™ve happened. A difficult week, a more difficult Friday and a disastrous weekend. Well, not the whole weekend but near enough.

Thursday and Friday saw Cruella at her worst. I never had high regards for her in the first place but now, I don't think I can even respect for her at all. Can someone please tell her that she is acting like a spoilt kid?! If she thinks going through peopleâ€™s back and barking to others are the recipe of being a successful boss, maybe she better reread her psychological notes again. As happy I am for EllyB to be moving her new assignment, I am also left restless knowing that all her wrath and dismay will be directed solely to the only slave around a.k.a. ME.

Going back for dinner on Friday night was a mistake. Secretly I think BW is making it her life mission to find fault with me. When we don't come back, she complains that no one is around to finish the food. But when we do go back, she bitches about having to cook extra food. WTF?! Well, excuse me, Iâ€™ll still live without your cooking. In fact, I donâ€™t think I even eat enough to make a difference in the amount of the food she cooks. And it is not that I don't help, I do. We all do. If she expects more, then tell us. She canâ€™t assume people to read minds can she? *pulls hair*

Left the house with a promise of some peace of mind back home. Surprise, surprise..more bad luck awaits. The electricity was down, things in the fridge were already going bad, and to top it off - Tâ€™s room and part of the living room was flooded. Apparently, the heavy rain and strong wind had blown away the roof tiles and since we were on the top floor..well..you know what happens. The carpet was wet, the TV cabinet was spoilt and the list goes on. Spent the night mopping and cleaning and mopping. So much for a quiet night at home *sigh* .

Buster was again visited with his bleeding and Sunday lunch plan was replaced by a trip to the hospital. The doctor couldnâ€™t find anything (again) and he was released for home leave. Informed BW not to bother with the food as we were going home, plus there was food of which I cooked the night before. Spent a couple of hours hanging out with Jiji and watching Garfield with Daddy while Buster rested. Then, she came back..

..with food..which she expected Buster and I to bring home and eat.

WHAT?! Which part of DONâ€™T BOTHER WITH FOOD or WE HAVE FOOD AT HOME didnâ€™t she understand?! She became all moody when we left minus the food and mumbled something about no one will eat the kai fan she bought us. Well, maâ€™am - too bad, so sad.

I am still pestering Pie to step on it with the work he has yet to deliver for home. The sooner I get far away from BW, the better. After all, they say distance make the hearts grow fonder *fingers crossed*. As for Cruella, I don't think I can do much there since I am more or less stuck here at least for another year *double sigh*

Oh dear God, please give me the strengh..

That's the way it goes..

I was awoken by the sound of my phone's SMS beep. I sat in disbelief at first - he was just shaking hands with us on Friday! But then again I realised, it has all been written by Him.

Al- Fatihah to our dearest Chairman, may he rest in peace. Personally, I will miss this orang tua yang comel.

YESTERDAY: BUSTER'S BIRTHDAY

He called at nine sulking that none of his friends remembered to wish him. After a few sms-es to those who mattered, he was flooded by phone calls and warm wishes that he stubbornly refused to answer - just to teach them a lesson!

The funny thing was, the first wish at the stroke of midnight (apart from yours truly) was from Malinski's ex! And the first two he got in the a.m. were from my dearest friends. *Thanks guys*

Although our earlier plan of having a private dinner was overruled by Jiji's and BW's family dinner reservation, we still managed to squeeze in a small gathering of his close friends in Strudels for cakes and ice cream. I still have not gotten anything for this dear husband of mine..although he has hinted for a golf set (WHAT?!).

Maybe tonight's dinner and movie outing will keep him quiet for a while until I think of a suitable gift AND till the money comes in..muahahaha.

The ball is round..

Last week has been wonderful. Yes, I did spend the whole 7 days baked to perfection under the hot hot sun, but even that was worth it. Not only did I enjoy every minute of the games, we emerged as champ too!

The team too was one of the best ones I had so far. Funny how 16 different people could gel so well! Although Ucop's and TZ's move was sorely missed by the team, we were graced by the presence of many experienced players who joined the team for the first time. Who could be bored listening to Usin's antics or Hans's jokes? How can one not enjoy him or herself looking at the cool way Chiem & partner trashed their opponents? Which girl (or guy in some cases!) can resist looking at Baby Muffin's smile? *ooh..the fangs..the fangs* The seniors just couldn't get enough of sweet Marie (and thanks to her, I didn't feel too out of place to play with my shorts!). And yes, the nerve-wrecking final match by MJ and Wak which kept us at the edge of our seats with every point they collected. Even MCP was being nice this year by treating us lunch in a nearby hotel for winning the title. Looking back at the daily House-Hostel drive, the endless hours on the courts and the tanned complexion (or as Buster puts it - you are black!) were all worth the smile we saw on our dear captain as he received the trophy from Mr. Prez.

Oh yes, and to those MCPs out there who thought we ladies will breeze through the tourney just because of MJ..sorry to see your girls eat our dust on the court even without MJ playing. HAH!

Bring on the ASCOPE Games!

Learnings of Sort

For all too quickly we lose our friends. Do you not see in this mortal world you become the friend and darling of some person, and they become the very Joseph of beauty in your eyes.

Then, on account of a single shameful act they vanish from your sight, and you lose them completely? That Joseph-like form is changed into a wolf. This very same one you once saw as Joseph you now see as a wolf. Yet, their actual form has not changed, but is still the same as it always was. By that one accidental act you lost them.

Tomorrow, when this present essence is changed into another essence, since you never really knew that person deeply, and never penetrated thoroughly into their essence, how are you going to recognise them?

The lesson to be learned from this is that we must see one another very well indeed. We must pass beyond the good and bad qualities that are present temporarily in everyone, and must enter into the other's very essence. We must see with exceptional clarity that these qualities people observe in one another are not their original qualities.

The story is told of a man, who said "I know that fellow very well. I will give his distinguishing mark." His friends said, "Please do." The man answered, "He was a muleteer of mine. He had two black cows." People talk in this same way. "I consider So-and-so my friend. I know them." Yet every distinguishing mark they give is just like the two black cows. Those are not distinguishing marks. Those marks are of no use whatever.

We must pass beyond the good and evil in others and enter into their essence to see what they really are. That is truly seeing and knowing.

Sent via e-mail by HT

Random Thoughts of a Lioness

About Me

Friday, July 30, 2004

Oh My God, It's Friday Already?!

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

IF

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Bills, Bills, Bills

Wednesday, July 21, 2004