//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> Random Thoughts of a Lioness

Random Thoughts of a Lioness

The reward of conformity was that everyone liked you, except yourself.


This is me. Like it or not. 'I have long since come to believe that people never mean half of what they say, and it is best to disregard their talk and judge only their actions' - Dorothy Day, 1952

Thursday, August 12, 2010

A new home to call our own

After 7 years of living in that cute little apartment of mine, we left the place with all its memories (both good and not-so-good ones) and re-start our lives in a new place we call home.

We started out looking for a place about 2 years ago, when Lil Cub started running around the apartment and knocked into things (yes, our old place was REALLY penuh!). And Buster, as the 'provider', believes that he needs to buy the family a house, instead of continue living in an apartment under my name (male ego I tell you!).

So the house hunting began. We went around, from within our SD vicinity up to Shah Alam 2. We had so many we liked, but other factors played a role - distance, convenience etc. We almost finalised a sale for a semi-D in Paya Jaras (hahaha, don't ask me why) but had buyers' remorse a day after and begged them for our 5k back (which they did return nicely). Finally it boiled down to 2 houses - one the one I liked, another the one Buster loved.

Fast forward a month later, we finalised the purchase of Buster's dream house. But boy oh boy, lots had to be done. The place is about 20yrs old, and everything looked...well..20yrs old. But it was near everything - a mosque 200m metres away, walking distance to schools, various food places, and 10 mins drive to a few shopping malls. But we did not have the finances at the time so everything was put on hold.

The moment I was preggers with Cub Adik, I begged Buster to rejuvenate our OPeration Rumah Baru. I went to see an architect friend of mine and got him to assist with our reno. We loved his designs, and he said he may get to finish the place by the time I deliver. Which was perfect la kan? But when we got his qoutes, it was really high and whenever we called him to re-discuss the plan, he was never available.

We then turned our old trusty contractor, Jack. The reno took longer than we expected, butgiven the fact that we are paying him in looong instalments and all, it didn't matter. He kept to his words though, we moved in before puasa 2010.

16th July marked the day we 'officially' moved in and slept in this house WE bought. Together. The next day our families came to 'warm' the house. It felt surreal to be in our new place!

It has been almost a month now. The house is still filled with boxes and looks rather bare, but we will take our time.

Here's to creating new memories...

Monday, June 28, 2010

Today, 10 months ago

Since I have been slacking (to put it mildly!) on expressing my thoughts here...thought I'd start with what happened since I left off.

After the whole drama with the H1N1 scare, I completed my course of Tamiflu and alhamdulillah, Lil Cub #2 (from now on let's call him Cub Adik) did not decide to see the world during that time. But he didn't decide to come out after that either. After daily calls to my gynea, we decided on a date - 28th August 2010 to induce him should he doesn't come out. We kinda chose the date cos it wud be exactly 3 years, 2 weeks apart from Lil Cub.

I was sooooooo super sensitive waiting for the date. Mama was getting restless of being cooped up in the house kept asking when I'd deliver and why can't I deliver 'normally'. Eventhough deep inside I knew she meant well and was worried about me, I can't help but cried and hated the questions! that plus the frequent sms-es from all over asking why haven't I popped. Trust me, being over a week overdue with no signs whatsoever can get to you BIG time...hahaha.

So, when 28th came (and NO, Cub Adik showed no signs of coming out even then!) we woke up for sahur, and sent Lil Cub and Mama to Abang's place before we registered ourselves at the hospital. It was about 6:30 am, and the moment I stepped into the labour room to be induced, there was a loud howl from the room next door. She actually screamed!! Only then that I realised that I am giving birth..again! I can't really remember the actual birth pain of Lil Cub as I was totally numb waist down (thanks to epidural!) during then. I was quite open to the option again this time around but decided to try my best not to.

4 hours had passed and although I dilated well and had very regular (not to mention painful) contractions, Cub Adik has his own mind. He refused to come down and maintain still high in the canal. The gynea came and went every hour, nothing changed. By then, the pain has become excruciatingly bad that I agreed to get pain relief - only not too much as to be able the sensation once I needed to push.

The midwives and nurses are convinced we'd be able to deliver by noon, as I was already like 8cm dilated by 11. Abang dropped Mama on the way to Solat Jumaat to be able to witness yet another birth of her grandson. Another 2 hours passed and no, he still is enjoying his stay in the tummy although I was fully dilated. By 2pm, the gynea came and said - That's it! Looks like Adik needs a little coercion to get out. At the end, at 2.57pm, with a couple of strong pushes and the help of the forceps, Cub Adik came out screaming - obviously hated the idea of being forced out of his comfort zone..hahaha. A bouncing 3.6kg bundle of joy entered our life. Even from then we knew he would be a strong one, with the mind of his own.

Lil Cub came a visiting later that night...cuddling with Cub Adik and a very tired Mummy on that small bed. It'll be an adventure having 2 (oops, I mean 3, haha) boys at home, but I couldn't be happier.

I love you boys!

Has it been that long?

Ohmigod, the last time I updated was when Lil Cub #2 not even out yet? THAT long?

A lot has happened since...and will definitely be back to spill it all.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

He's not ready to check out from Hotel Lioness

So yeah, the EDD has come and gone, but Adik is still chilling. He hasn't given me any signs whatsoever that he is coming out..not even a drop of 'show'.

Tuesday saw me and Buster running to the clinic after my temp ran up to 38.4 that dawn. The gynea sent us straight to the A&E to get me tested for Influenza A and tracing of the baby. After a throat swab and 1/2 hr of scanning Adik's heartbeat and contractions, we went back for the results. I was positive *sigh*. The kind doctor gave me Tamiflu for 5 days and loads of panadols, and was told to self quarantine at home. The gynea called soon after and she felt that I shud be warded, but the beds were full. We went for second opnion at the new posh hospital, but they had the same idea as the A&E doc - I shud be home instead to minimise any possibility of catching more serious viruses if I am put with other confirmed H1N1 cases.

So here I am, day 3 of Tamiflu and quarantine. And going nuts of not going anywhere, and everyday looking for signs for Adik to come out. The gynea hopes he won't make a decision to come out till I finish my course on Saturday morning. Maybe she knows best, but right now, I leave it to the AlMighty. If he decides to come out earlier than Saturday, so be it cos Allah knws best.

Just let's pray for the best...insya Allah.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Wishing for a good night's rest

It is past 1 am and just finished updating my handover notes for my colleague, as I am hoping to be off work by Tuesday. I still have another assignment to submit before Adik pops out, but hopefully I cant get that done from home.

Anyway, haven't been getting good sleep lately actually. (Well, what does one expect once you are as big as a whale kan?) Been turning and tossing in bed most nights with sounds of the two boys snoring. When I finally fall into that deep state of sleep, my bladder will wake me up and signal that it is time to visit the loo again. *sigh* And the books and articles keep telling you to sleep, sleep, sleep now as once the baby comes, well, you won't get any.

Packed the hospital bag and realised I still have a few things to get before the big day. Hopefully the week off will be kind and I get to sort everything out. That plus planning for Lil Cub's birthday party. So wish me luck!

Better TRY to get some shuteye. Good night.

Sunday, August 02, 2009

It won't be long from now on,I hope!

This not-so-little Lion3ss is now 37 weeks along, with a huge (and I really do mean humongous!) belly and slightly swollen feet. Not as bad as the first pregnancy, but this time around I am generally bigger looking (I started bigger anyways, haha) and my heels are killing me even from the 3rd month. Put on a good 11 kgs so far, not even half of what Lil Cub made me pile up, hehe, but I feel heavier than 10 sacks of potatoes and bigger than Khir Toyo's mansion!

Went for our now weekly check-ups last week, and found out that Adik has decided not to move into position yet. What worries me more is the fact he decided to turn into an oblique position, where his head is under my right rib. By this time with the brother, he was even ready in the canal (although he decided to come out MUUUUUUCH later!). I know that every baby and every pregnancy is different, but it doesn't make it feel any less worrying. Please join me in praying that Adik will turn in time.

Oh, we have a few names lined up for him actually, but the brother is really focused on one. We like the name too, but Buster and I can't really agree on the spelling. Sometimes I feel like smaking him on the head and say, "Hey, I am the one carrying him for nine months so PLEASE give me some leeway here!" By the way honey, if you are reading this, I am adamant on the 2nd choice for our next child (if it happens to be another boy, and IF we ever decided to have another one!).

My parents are not so keen on it though, cos it reminds them of something else. But as far we are concerned, as long as the meaning is good, and we love it, they just need to learn to live with it...hehehe.

Work is NOT slowing down, but I have completed my handover notes to be passed to the colleague while I am gone. I have planned to be off work like 1-2 weeks before the EDD, but I am still in the office *rolls eyes*. Feel slightly guilty of leaving, especially when my fave boss won't be there once I come back from my maternity leave. It is not very often that you have a great boss, someone you get along so so well with. I guess it is only fair as it will be a new area for her, but I wished she would stay longer.

Oh, on another note - my house looks like it has been hit by a tornado (again!). Baby clothes are everywhere in between my exam notes (which is gonna be esok and I am supposed to be studying right now), and it just hit me that I have not completed packing for the hospital yet. *So maybe it is a good thing that Adik is not early!* Hope to call those hourly maids once I am on leave to help out with the 'organising'. The cot and crib need dusting, Lil Cub's toys need to be sorted out and kept, and don't get me started on the kitchen cabinets. There are so many things that need to be thrown out.

A little bit of updates before I am off to go study again:

T and Widdy is blessed with a beautiful baby girl on 1st July 2009, giving Mama and Aboh their 3rd grandchild. She did it without any pain relievers (oh how I salute her!)

EllyB is expecting her second, EDD January.

Emm and family have moved Down Under, leaving EllyB and I one less friend, and we don't have that many to start off with. I miss her terribly.

Cuz Tush is also expecting, after 3 years of marriage. Am so so happy for her.

The office has banned Blogger, hence the very long in -between updates. Hopefully once I am on leave will be able to update this more often so that you 3 readers (or is it 2 now) have something to talk about the next time I see you guys. Hahaha.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Oh, that guilty feeling!

It is already June, and the Lioness (who is currently as big as a house) is now 30 weeks preggers. This second time around is somehow relatively easier than the first one..or at least I think. But due to age (gasp!) and lesser agility, I tire more easily.

In a way, I am feeling VERY guilty towards Lil Cub #2 (let's call him Adik for the time being). I feel that I am not being fair to Adik for a number of reasons:

1) I don't take care of myself as good as I did when I was with Lil Cub.
> I do not really look after what I eat, where I eat or when I eat. Gone are the days of my 'wajib' fish meals and daily dates.
> I do not exercise religiously. Apart from the weekly fit ball class, I don't even take the extra
effort to walk in the park anymore.

2) I don't put in as much effort to equip Adik with enough spiritual supplements too. It is already the 3rd trimester and I haven;t even completed my rounds of regular surahs I used to recite monthly with Lil Cub.

3) I often get so worked up or upset with the people are work that I am almost certain that Adik is gonna be one garang fella!

4) I don't talk to Adik as often as I used to with the brother. Sometimes I feel like that I am putting too much time to ensure that Lil Cub doesn't feel sidelined with the pregnancy, I am spending even more time with him rather than taking my quiet time with Adik.

5) We even haven't finalised his name!!

I also feel that Buster is taking this pregnancy rather lightly and for granted. He puts only hald the effort (if it is even THAT much) of his previous efforts and time for Adik. I don't think he is all that excited to feel Adik moving or reading to him like he used to with Lil Cub. Maybe because he thinks I am tough enough this time around? Or is it because the novelty of it all has worn off? Sometimes I wonder if he is a at all disappointed that Adik isn't gonna be Daddy's girl? Of course it'll be so ideal to get a pair of cubs, especially when this Lioness LOVES to shop for pretty girly stuff. I mean those skirts and riboons, and cute blings. Don't even start to mention those cute shoes!! Oh, but I digress.

Okay, maybe I am overeacting on this. GLAM mom says it is perfectly normal to take the 2nd pregnancy easier and with less anticipation than the first. But is it fair for Adik?

Baby dearie, please know that Ibu loves you equally, even if I don't show it. I am a second child too, and although I have always regarded myself as independant and not the fave, I wanot you to know that you will NEVER be any less important that your abang. Iwill try my best to buck up this final few months, and I can't wait to see you in August!

Monday, June 01, 2009

Has it been that long?


It has been 3 months since I was last here.

Shows how busy I am or how malas. You choose.