Random Thoughts of a Lioness: September 2005

Selfish commuters!

Taking the train from Bangsar in the morning normally means I'd bump into Kak CT, a blind lady working in my building. We would usually board the train together and I'd walk her all the way to the reception.

I met her again this morning. We were talking about fire drills and weekends when the train arrived. She walked straight in to stand in front of the seats, in hope that some of the commuters would offer her one. Next to us was an elderly man who looked at us and gave me a half smile while signaling to the people seated in front of us. One lady was sleeping - so that was out of the question. The one next to her, right opposite the elderly man, was a VERY able, strapping young man. And he was fully awake, and FULLY aware that the two people in front of him deserved the seat more. He did everything to avoid eye contact - from playing with phone to checking his nails. The elderly man kept glaring at him, to no avail.

When the seat next to him vacated, the man finally sat down and signaled him to look at Kak CT. Like he cared. When he thought we were not looking, he'd steal glances towards her with a VERY uncomfortable look. *Although not enough for him to offer his seat*

Kak CT finally got to sit down 2 stops before our destination. A woman in her forties got a seat, and pulled Kak CT to sit down. The youngsters around her hung their heads in shame.

And the young man? He got off at the same stop as we did, running out as fast in guilt, only to bump into us again on the escalator. And he got some problem with his ticket.

I guess God pays in cash nowadays!

How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?

A good friend asked - how do you get over someone? Not just the person, but also the hurt that comes with it.

The truth is, I don't know. I am no expert, and I remembered being in a wreck too once.

What I learnt over the years however is:

It's not wrong to be sad or cry. It is your right. Cry all you want till you are all cried out. But after that, never look back.

Don't let him/her control your emotions. Some of them don't even think twice before they start screwing around again.

Prayers and doas do wonders. Family and close friends too are a great source of comfort.

If any information about him or her hurts too much, probably not knowing would be best. The great Allahyarham Sudirman chose to merisik khabar, but what's the use if it makes you sink deeper into the pit?

People say, keep the sweet memories, get rid of the bad ones. I agree to some point. But if the bad ones help you remember why you are better off without him/her, use that to your advantage.

I know this is easier said than done - but time will heal the pain. No one says that it won't leave a scar, because trust me it will. It may take longer for some, but as cliche as it may sound..there is always, ALWAYS a hikmah behind all that happens.

You may never get over the hurt totally. Most people walk around for years still carrying the bruises and wounds on their hearts over broken relationships. But my dear friend, you are one of the few people that I have faith in.

And I have faith that you'll come out of this just fine..

Renjis renjis dipilis..

Attended a wedding on Buster's side of the family yesterday, and boy, I felt so lost!

Not that I didn't know anyone or things like that. Since Daddy wanted to be there early to help out, I had to leave with him before Jiji, Chulan and the rest got ready. As soon as we were there, I was taken by the hand by one of the ladies who helped out to make sure I ate. Okaaay. Told them I am part of the family, but they said - EAT FIRST, GO IN LATER. Had a bowl of soto and went in. *Was told later by an uncle, they call those who help out as merewang*

Soooo many people talked to me in Javanese! And all I could catch was Daddy's name, the word youngest, and Terengganu. Thank God for Aunty Nerry who translated some when she saw the blank look on my face! Buster had to help out outside so I was left to my own defences to assist with the food AND trying to understand what was asked!

Was sooo happy to finally see Jiji coming in after 2 hours. But by then, the worse has passed. And glad to say, I think I survived my test! *winks*

I want to break free..

Emm and I were talking on the possibility of a weekend getaway or holiday somewhere. Well, I do it often..talk about going off somewhere, that is. Sometimes it happens, most of the time - not really. Apart from my Umrah trip earlier, the only getaway I have was going back to Terengganu. *The recent one was not even near relaxing!*

As much as Emm needs a break from everything that has been bugging her, I realise that I am in dire need of one too. Away from work *and Crazy Woman*, away from the family plans and schedules *and moody sisters-in-law*, and away from this tug-of-war situation I am in right now.

Suddenly, the idea of the sand, the sea and being away from it all sounds really appealing.

Tiga satu bulan lapan..lima puluh tujuh ..hari mulia, negaraku MERDEKA!

Watching the shows on tv yesterday brought so much memories. Merdeka to me would always remind me of the stories from Wan and Ki about their hardship before we got our independence. Of how they used the house in Kampung Raja as a place for UMNO meetings. Of how they had to hide from the Japanese in the bushes, while keeping my mom safe. Of how hard it was to find rice.

"Susoh nok jjupe berah masa tu. Makang ubi kayu lah sokmo! Rebuh, makang dengang nyior, makang dengan gula, makang dengan sambal.."

"It was so hard to find rice during those times. We have to settle for tapioca all the time! Boiled, eat it with coconut, eat it with sugar, eat it with sambal.."

And it would remind me of the stories of how my dad got his nickname from a Japanese soldier. I can remember the history being re-told by my parents every year (that's what you get when both your parents are history teachers!). I still get all teary-eyed when I see those golden citizens being interviewed.

Oh, and the parade. Managed to catch an hour of the parade in Putrajaya from the comfort of my living room. It was like walking down memory lane! I was sharing with Buster *who fell asleep halfway* on how I would eagerly wait for the parade each year when I was little. Once in school, I was in the parade myself with fellow band members. *Although at that time it mattered more to most of us to get the top three places in the Brass Band category!* Mama and Aboh too had to be in the parade a few times, representing teachers of Terengganu.

But the best one was seeing Wan being pushed on a wheelchair in the national parade alongside her buddies as the Wira Negara - those who fought for the independence. She made me so proud! And eventhough her kids told her that it would be tiring for her, she wouldn't miss it for the world. Wish Ki was around too.

Yes, Merdeka means a whole of different things to different people, especially us post-merdeka children. For some it is just another off day. And some, a chance to stay out late to watch the concert and fireworks. I might not have a true meaning of Merdeka, but it has long since been one of the favourite days of mine.

SELAMAT MENYAMBUT HARI KEMERDEKAAN YANG KE 48, MALAYSIA!

Random Thoughts of a Lioness

About Me

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Selfish commuters!

Friday, September 23, 2005

How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?

Monday, September 12, 2005

Renjis renjis dipilis..

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

I want to break free..

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Tiga satu bulan lapan..lima puluh tujuh ..hari mulia, negaraku MERDEKA!