Ramblings of the Heart - Part II
I had a dream last night, as I often do when my heart is unsettled or something is bothering me. In the dream, I remembered being depressed and crying in silence. Lil Cub asked me where everyone was, and why wasn’t he with the rest.
I am unsettled.
The other half asked me why I was so disturbed with what’s going on.
As much as I want to share..
... how could I tell him that I feel sidelined by his family?
How could I tell him that it bothers me that his father’s stand to end the cold war is NOT to take a stand at all?
How do I explain to him that often times, the in-laws make me feel this small and that any efforts whatsoever to be nice is like mencurah air ke daun keladi?
How could I make him understand that as much as I should count my lucky stars I don’t have to see the in-laws so often, I still want to be happy WHEN I see them?
Doesn’t he realise that I am closer to my friends rather than his own family?
And of course, coming from a small family myself, how could I make him see that I long for my son to be close to his cousins like I was when I was little?
I am just upset that everytime I thought I can let it go and live my life as it is, I am back at this weird place.
But yes, I believe this too shall pass. Oh God, give me strength.
I am unsettled.
The other half asked me why I was so disturbed with what’s going on.
As much as I want to share..
... how could I tell him that I feel sidelined by his family?
How could I tell him that it bothers me that his father’s stand to end the cold war is NOT to take a stand at all?
How do I explain to him that often times, the in-laws make me feel this small and that any efforts whatsoever to be nice is like mencurah air ke daun keladi?
How could I make him understand that as much as I should count my lucky stars I don’t have to see the in-laws so often, I still want to be happy WHEN I see them?
Doesn’t he realise that I am closer to my friends rather than his own family?
And of course, coming from a small family myself, how could I make him see that I long for my son to be close to his cousins like I was when I was little?
I am just upset that everytime I thought I can let it go and live my life as it is, I am back at this weird place.
But yes, I believe this too shall pass. Oh God, give me strength.
Labels: ramblings
posted by lion3ss | 10:59 AM
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