Maybe it's time to stop clowning around.
It's Thursday and I am already smiling. I'll be on leave tomorrow, just to clean the house before Mama comes, and because we are leaving for Ash's wedding in the afternoon *which reminds me, I haven't finished drafting her speech yet, HELP!*.
Last Friday saw me going solo in Aseana. I haven't done that in ages. Eating alone in a cafe or restaurant that is. Used to do it all the time when I was studying, and once in a while before I got married. I usually equip myself with a reading material handy, even if I end up people watching! It was nice to have my monthly dosage of kerpok lekor (though they had more sagu than ikang) and teh tarik while looking at happy faces of other corporate slaves on a Friday evening.
The only thing about a girl eating alone is the sorry look you get from people at nearby tables. And from the waiters/waitresses. The moment you say you need a table for one, they go "Oh..". . As if you are such a pathetic character to be spending your Friday evening alone. And how sad how a pretty looking chick *this is where you should roll your eyes* has no company for dinner. But sometimes, me ..and a few friends of mine I asked, are also self-conscious to be seen as such. Hence the reading material or even handphone while eating. We are THAT worried about what others think of us. Which shouldn't be the way at all. That evening, I made a silent vow. From then on, I am going to appear confident and remain unperturbed whenever I have to eat on my own.
Anyway, when Buster came to pick me up, we saw an ex-collegemate of ours. I have heard about him from Abang and Buster. After he graduated from England with flying colours, he decided to hang his engineering degree on the wall. He then started his career as clown. Yup, those funny painted looking people. He decided that bringing a smile to sick and unfortunate children is worth more than a five figure job. We saw his pictures in the papers (don't ask me how those two recognised him!) and he looked really contented with what he was doing. He also volunteered with Mercy and other NGOs. Now, he is with yet another well-established NGO, in charge of marketing. Told me he just managed to get my organisation to donate, for the first time*Hmmm..surprising* . And he still clowns around whenever his services are needed.
I wish I can be like him. No, not be a clown, but to be able to do what I really want to do. To not be scared of taking the road less taken. Of being able to be happy and content with what I do for a living. The conversation with the Jester *thanks for listening to my whines and b****ing..as always! hugs* made me think of it even more yesterday. If one day, I just can't take it anymore, would I be brave enough to pack up and leave, and pursue my dreams? To able to work with young minds and follow the footsteps of my parents and Ki? Or just be the Lady of Leisure I have always wanted to be without becoming bored?
For the time being, these questions shall remain as good food for thought. And of course, crucial to remind me to have a re-look at my life in a different perspective. Hmmm...
Well, have a great weekend everyone!
Last Friday saw me going solo in Aseana. I haven't done that in ages. Eating alone in a cafe or restaurant that is. Used to do it all the time when I was studying, and once in a while before I got married. I usually equip myself with a reading material handy, even if I end up people watching! It was nice to have my monthly dosage of kerpok lekor (though they had more sagu than ikang) and teh tarik while looking at happy faces of other corporate slaves on a Friday evening.
The only thing about a girl eating alone is the sorry look you get from people at nearby tables. And from the waiters/waitresses. The moment you say you need a table for one, they go "Oh..". . As if you are such a pathetic character to be spending your Friday evening alone. And how sad how a pretty looking chick *this is where you should roll your eyes* has no company for dinner. But sometimes, me ..and a few friends of mine I asked, are also self-conscious to be seen as such. Hence the reading material or even handphone while eating. We are THAT worried about what others think of us. Which shouldn't be the way at all. That evening, I made a silent vow. From then on, I am going to appear confident and remain unperturbed whenever I have to eat on my own.
Anyway, when Buster came to pick me up, we saw an ex-collegemate of ours. I have heard about him from Abang and Buster. After he graduated from England with flying colours, he decided to hang his engineering degree on the wall. He then started his career as clown. Yup, those funny painted looking people. He decided that bringing a smile to sick and unfortunate children is worth more than a five figure job. We saw his pictures in the papers (don't ask me how those two recognised him!) and he looked really contented with what he was doing. He also volunteered with Mercy and other NGOs. Now, he is with yet another well-established NGO, in charge of marketing. Told me he just managed to get my organisation to donate, for the first time*Hmmm..surprising* . And he still clowns around whenever his services are needed.
I wish I can be like him. No, not be a clown, but to be able to do what I really want to do. To not be scared of taking the road less taken. Of being able to be happy and content with what I do for a living. The conversation with the Jester *thanks for listening to my whines and b****ing..as always! hugs* made me think of it even more yesterday. If one day, I just can't take it anymore, would I be brave enough to pack up and leave, and pursue my dreams? To able to work with young minds and follow the footsteps of my parents and Ki? Or just be the Lady of Leisure I have always wanted to be without becoming bored?
For the time being, these questions shall remain as good food for thought. And of course, crucial to remind me to have a re-look at my life in a different perspective. Hmmm...
Well, have a great weekend everyone!
posted by lion3ss | 10:10 AM
2 Comments:
Happiness is being able to afford to do what you really want to do.
BTW did you notice the handbag hook UNDER your table at Aseana?
No I didn't. Guess I'll check the next time I need my keropok fix! Care to join? *smile*
Post a Comment
<< Home